António José (ajose) wrote,
António José

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I've had all this weekend to think about some of the things going on here, and try to foreseen how they will be in the near future....

You know, I do fight hard for something, when I want it, but I also know when it is time to just go forward and skip it....

I've been fighting for E.V for a long, long time and I'm really sad I've not been able to "full fill" all the requirements;
Have you ever felt like something is like not to be, that whatever you do, everything just ends up not the way it was meant to be?

I've been holding on for almost one year that would be E.V. to be able to provide the job anyone needs but it doesn't seem that it will be the one. And, if it did, most honestly, i don't really know if I would want it any longer....
For me the most important aspect is the intention and the attitudes and although I'm always aware that those are the most difficult issues to evaluate, they are the ones that count the most to me.

And I just can't take quite easily when some one just shows to me a position like "your problems are your own, mine are ours....".
Probably it's some defect of mine.... But really I have some difficulty into digesting that one.
And that has been told to me more than once, and even, in at least one time, directly.

As I've been accused to "play the victim".

Now, if there is something i just DON'T do that's exactly that!

Not that I don't know how to do it.
By the contrary.
It's exactly for knowing how to do it and don't like when some one does this to me that I don't do it to others.
Because I do firmly believe that one should do to others what he/she would like others would do to him/herself. And i just refuse to be hypocrite to think one thing and do another.

But life, itself, has it's own ways and I know that for every door that closes, others open and, although I don't know yet which future will be. I do feel that some things are just changing.
I know exactly which are my options and in due time will have to take them.

But my actions, in this subject, are to be responses not iniciatives.

I wasn't the one to start with all and, although I understand all constrains here, the one that is leading the process will have to run the expense if he/she just wants things to be in his/hers way.

Now, I'm going to rest for a while.
See you all tomorrow!

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