António José (ajose) wrote,
António José

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The way each one is....

Each one is the way it is and that's it.

That's something I've learned a long time ago and although I always try to keep it alive and present in my mind, some times it pops again with more presence, like in some situations where I see people misunderstanding each other or just breaking apart.....

Human relations are and will be always complex, I guess, because we all are complex.
It's not a question of putting just into an equation; feelings are of a different nature and can't just be "putted" inside any logic other than not having any logic at wall.
After all, feelings are not ideas nor actions.... are just.... feelings!

In every days life of everyone, relationships are build, broken and sometime it hurts very much, others, the hurt is almost impossible to feel already....

I'm very much aware of how easy it is to hurt someone feelings, even unintentionally. Probably that's why I do take so much care in it and I do have to carry, some time, some complex situations until they arrive to a position where they can be handled with a little more easily.

And another thing that many just don't know is that, although every one is really different, there are some common points in the basic reactions that can be learned and do help to handle relationships in the most constructive way and be extra careful around some critical times.
The fact is that time is not always the same and anyone of us do not react exactly the same way to the same events in different times.
And today I had already a disagreement with some one because of a reaction she had which although I can try to understand (and I do; I know what's going on and, thus, I can give the necessary allowance), made me react a little more "harshly" which is quite untypical of me.

And if this had been with someone with which I had a more distant relationship, I'm aware that could have been quite more complex.
I'll have to ask for an apology and I'm certain she will ask me for the same.
And both will be granted and the issue will be closed.
And that is good as it was triggered by external circumstances and not by anything really relating us both.

It is hard to ask for an apology, sometimes (Truly, I can speak for my self, at least in certain circumstances) but I've learned the necessity to do so, and do ask for them whenever due.

And it's from this that a relationship can be strengthed.

And here, online (in LJ or in any other place), there are relationships being built and ending also, and all of us do have to learn new rules and new methods to deal with them as this is really "new stuff".

For a first time (from some years to now) it's possible to know and interact with people without being physically near them and in real time.
we all have to find how to replace what we have when we are physically near some one and find it while having and building these new relationships.

And if being physically present is so easy to misunderstand someone, who much more easy will be here, with these new tools that we are still learning to use in our lives, and discovering (quite often to our own unexpected self) who they do interact with us and discovering parts of ourselves that we didn't knew before!

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