António José (ajose) wrote,
António José

As ever, once again I'm remembered that there are always, at least, 2 or more sides in each issue.

Like mantaining a journal or diary here, online.

If some one has as a rule to be really honest, he/she might find that some times there are tough situations that are not as easy to deal with as one would like;
Will I post this or won't I?
Will I say this or will I say that?

I think that is almost impossible to account for every possible reaction and consequence for what we say. And it's true that this is always valid; only here the audience is potentially much more wide and from people with all different backgorunds that we don't know and that don't know anything, but anything about our motivations, reasons, etc.

Yes, it's necessary to draw a line but I think that is very hard to say exactlly where that very thin line is. I can close myself as an oister and, doing that, I'm protected.
But I'm also closed to the outside world....
Other way, I can open myself and expose exactlly how I feel, what I think and, doing that, is quite likelly that I might get hurt either intentional and/or unintentionally, at least sometimes.
But, this way, I can let the world come to me, at least, part of it!.....

I think that this is as most things in life; we learn as we go along. We adjust what we say and don't say, try parhaps to be somewhat selective whenever that becomes necessary, and either remain truthfull to ourselves or depart for a fantasy world that although might having it's place, it's parhaps no longer what motivated us in first place.

For me, for instance, is not very hard to be quite descriptive of what I do along the day; I can decide to which detail I can go and I think that is even easier to "speak" to an audience that I know so little of than to some people you know more closelly....
But then you have others arround you and they might not fell the same way: they might not have the same ability to deal with such exposure (although a controled one) or the wiling to do so and then you start having some complex questions to be solved.

I know that beeing reflectional in my postings, I might attract less audience. And that addes for some impcreased "security"....
But for me is not just a question of audiences.

People are more for the "juicy details" and I think that has to do with a need to see and avaliate how they are doing.... (probabilly I'm beeing quite unfair; I do think that there are as many reasons as people, actually -- it was only a way to put it quite generally).
So, a reflexive post won't call as much attention as a descriptive one; I did this, I did that, etc.

But, at least for me, there are 2 main reasons for these posts; one of them has to do with myself.
As I write, I'm reflecting upon what I'm writing and that has its good consequences.

But you could say, and trully -- You don't have to post it in order to reflect over those issues, do you?

No I don't.

But if, by posting my own reflections (at least those that are allowed to come to this surface) and they are usefull, in any way, to anyone, the effort to make the post will have been achieved inteirelly.

You see, this is not different than writting a book or any other kind of text.
Is not different from talking abount these same issue to some one.

One might chose to be fictional; I've choosen to be totally honest and will remain so. There will be momentos of silence. Others won't even come close to here as I am not the only one involved and, so, can't decide only by myself.

I regret when people start taking their own conclusions and don't even show to care to know how things happened in first place.
But, again, that can happen here or anywhere....

I just hope that I won't ever have to call up this and stop it just because atitudes of others -- if I stop, let it be just because I don't have anything else to say to anyone.
I'll try to ignore them,as long as possible, but I'm aware of the vunerabilities involved.

But it was a long, long time ago, that I decided that whatever happened I would remain honest to me and my conscience and that as decided, after a very, very long reflection period, to start with this. So I'll keep with it.

And, really, what is the value of those who dare to avaliate without having the full data but like static noise in the midle of something else?

Truthfull and beutiful music pieces will live throughout time; noise just fades away and no one remembers it only a little after!

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