António José (ajose) wrote,
António José

Today (10.07.2000) was a special day.
Even with all the ups and downs was, still, a good day.

I'm glad my wife liked the presents; they were given trully from my heart.

Is very funny to watch Vickie and Bijou Noire playing together and then, came from nowhere, to see Blackie just jump "over the event"!
I'm glad that they do get along.

So I have here the 1111 quartet. Which is composed by 4 elements (as should be expected in a quartet!...), which are: 1000, 100, 10 and 1 (in their size decrescent order...). They do complement each other and make really a funny quartet! :-)))

I was a little sad to read Melanie's posting and also Bill's.
It's realy sad when things do not workout as planed and wished between 2 or more persons....
But human relationships are complex as any one of us is complex.
There is to much to account for.... The way we think, the way we feel, the way we act...
And if each one could and probabilly sould point in a same direction, many times they simple don't!
And, damnit, that makes all so complex some times!

On my part, many times I know exactelly what must be done, what I should do. But that doesn't make me like it even a little!
Nor will I ever will!
I know I can't postpone this much longer, but that doesn't make me feel it in an easier way, too....

And then we grab ourselves to some vague hope that somehow and anytime now things might turn another way, a better answer might pop up from nowhere and when we realises that nothing has changed and that the situation is still the same and, sometimes, even more complex, it really hurts.

It whould be easier, trully, just to be able to make avaliations and take decisions without any kind of emotional envolvement but I guess that is that case we would be just super computers and not human beings.....

Damnit! I must act and really gain the necessary courage to face that I'm really loosing the battle I've been fighting and that delaying action is not going to buy me a miraculous solution.
She doesn't seem to be suffering strong pain but I, in a way, I am.

If no miracle happens, anyway, I'll be at her side till the end and then I'll carry her to the place where I always thought that would be her final address here, in this world, and hope that, some how, she will one day forgive me for not have been able to just do more and have found that miraculous wayout after all!

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