You are trying to improve your position and prestige, be it in your life or in your workplace.. Things are, at this time, OK. But they could be better. You feel that it is essential that you breakdown any opposition that could possibly lurk in the shadows ... You know that you are quite capable of achieving this set goal because you have to and because it is essential to your self esteem.
Every thing seems to have gone wrong and the situation at this time is such that you are not quite sure which way to turn. So it would appear that you are "holding back" re-consolidating your position relinquishing all fun and games for the time being.
You are holding back. You need to find friends in whom you can trust and once they have proved themselves beyond all possible doubt you will be prepared to give them your all ... The existing situation is not of your liking. You have an unsatisfied need for mental stimulation with others whose standards are as high as your own. Trying to control your instincts the way you do restricts your ability to open up to others ... and the way you feel at this time is suggestive of "total surrender". This is not to your liking as you consider such thoughts as weaknesses that need to be overcome; You feel that only by control, controlling your innermost thoughts, are you able can you maintain your air of superiority. You want to be admired for yourself alone and not for what you can do or for what you may have done. In essence "you need to be needed" ... and at the same time... .."you need to need".
You would like to be respected and valued for yourself and this can only be achieved from a close and harmonious relationship.
You can also do the same test here....